Friday, August 22, 2014

August 22, 2014, WHAT!!!!

I have come to another fork in the road. It makes me depressed and angry. I feel lonely AND alone. I had a hysteroscopy today. It went well with the exception I probably have uterine cancer. No I don't have all the facts.  One thing I do know is that I will have a hysterectomy.

I've been "spotting" for the past couple months.  The summer was hectic and rolled by so fast. I decided to make an appointment to see my newly acquired doctor, Dr. Hulk!. Tuesday, August 19, was my appointment after a three week wait. (Did I have to wait this long for an appointment in Canada...hmmm.) We talked, he suggested and asked which gynecologist I wanted to see and when. I'm new to the area and gynecologists aren't on my list of interests. I told him school was starting the next day and I was up to my eyeballs at my other job and probably couldn't make it back for a couple of weeks. He raised his eyebrow and gave me the look. I realized then, this might be serious. I told him to schedule and I would adapt. The word cancer was not mentioned, just that this should be checked out. I spent the next 3 hours giving blood, getting a mammogram and a couple x rays.  (I never had to wait this long in emergency in Canada.... Hey, did you know they put BBs on your nipples when you get a mammogram?!  That never happened when I had them in Canada!) Then the day and time for the gynecologist appointment came through: August 20 at 8:50 a.m. I live an hour away from the clinic. I panicked. This is the first day of school, I can't miss my first day of school. The kids on my bus route need the stability of knowing that I'm there and care about them getting to school safely and on time! AND I was excited about seeing them. I got the time pushed back to 9 a.m. and had a 15 minute window to be late.... I knew the timing was almost impossible, but I said yes.

Wednesday, August 20 arrived and the first day of school was off.  There were a couple of glitches, but almost all the kids rode. All the kids were off the bus by 7:50. I'm ahead of schedule. Then I check the bus and find a cell phone on one of the back seats.  Dilemma, do I pocket it and tell base I have a phone in my possession that I will return at the end of the school day or do I just go into the office and hand it over.  I don't want the owner stressed out, so I take it into the school.  What a ZOO!!!!! I didn't even try to get close to office since it was packed with kids and parents.  I saw the high school principal and gave the phone to him and waddled back out to the bus.

I was in my car at 8:05 and heading east. I was driving a tad faster than 55 and got pulled over. The officer asked why I was speeding and where I was going to in such a hurry. I just told him I was on my way to an appointment with a gynecologist to see if I have cancer.  Hey, I've learned that honesty is the best policy and if he busted me for speeding, I deserved it. He let me go. (If I would have had time, I would have hugged him and "NO", I didn't cry.)

I was standing at the reception desk and 9:12. I made it!

I like the gynecologist, Dr. M. She explained that I needed a pelvic exam and she was going to stick this plastic stick into my uterus to take a sample of whatever was in there.  My favorite thing in the whole wide world.  Don't misunderstand, I don't have a problem with a doctor poking my lady parts, I have a problem with pain. Dr. M gets started and this is uncomfortable.... she keeps working and we are talking and my first thoughts were, is this really worth it???? I gather that I have "tight" lady parts that don't like being poked! (Snort!!) When I vocalized my feelings, she said a hysteroscopy was my best option.  I agreed.

Cancer still wasn't mentioned....

We made the appointment for Friday, August 22. I figured my health is more important than working, so I made arrangements to take the day off at school and my other job.

Times were set on Thursday, August 21.  Be there at 8:30 with insurance cards and I. D. Yes, I do have insurance through the school. I am so thankful for that, even though I don't understand all the "ends and outs"of it.  (In Canada, just had a health card we showed when we went to the doctor or a clinic. Money rarely changed hands.) Another call came in from the financial department.  Yes, my insurance carrier would authorize the procedure, but I owed $3000 up front and then they would cover the rest. My heart jumped. How much is this procedure going to cost?  Ballpark figure: $10,000. (YIKES!) I had three options for paying the $3000.  Pay in full and get a 15% discount; make a partial payment and pay it off in 30 days for a 10% discount or set up an 18 month payment plan.  Thank GOD for the HSA (still foreign sounding to me...) and I scraped the rest from my personal account.  If I wanted to run away, I'd have to walk since I don't have enough money to put fuel in the car! (That's life!)

Mother came with me today and we made it on time and I paid my bill. I guess my nerves are getting to me, I didn't feel like my silly self this morning.  I felt tired and irritable.  I felt pissed!!!! Before I knew it, I was in the recovery room, none the worse for wear. I felt fine, no pain. ("They" must have bumped up the pain meds since I'm such a wuss!)  Dr. M came in and told me the procedure went okay, no puncturing anything, but they did find something in my uterus. (Nice!) Don't know for sure if it's malignant, but next step will be a hysterectomy and I'll be good as new. (Crap, this sounds major!)...

This is one of the pictures Dr. M took while inside my uterus.  This is some of the bad stuff. It's the size of a walnut. I hate this situation, but I love modern technology.  What if she hadn't done the hysteroscopy? Would the sample have shown there was a problem?

Mother and I had lunch and we were home shortly after 1:00 p.m. I just crawled in bed and slept. I feel fine, just some bleeding, but nothing major. Now to wait for the results and the next step!

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